As someone whose been size 10 and size 16, I can tell you that being skinny does actually feel different from being big, I don’t care what anyone says…..but the way we feel is all between the ears. A year or so ago, uber-thin model Kate Moss got herself into big trouble. When asked in an interview if she had any mottos, she replied: “There are loads of mottos. There’s ‘Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’. That’s one of them.” While she was criticised widely, I know exactly what she means. When you are feeling sexy, thin and attractive, there’s nothing you can shove in your mouth that is going to make you feel that good. But I can tell you, a great haircut, well-tailored dress, nice shoes and a great sassy attitude can do the same thing for me. Feeling and being sexy is nothing to do with your size. I wouldn’t trade the years I’ve had as a confident, brassy, happy, intelligent and great looking size 14 for the ones I had as a paranoid, self-critical, self-obssessed and self-hating size 10. I love being bigger, and it’s not because I’ve learned to accept myself fat. I love being bigger because I am free to focus on things other than my arse, my boobs, my reflection in the mirror, my calorific infrcations, my jeans size and my eating, or my not eating, as the case may be. If being size 10 means I have to become possessed by the evil skinny spirit again, I’ll stay free and fat, thanks all the same.
Tag Archives | critical attitude
I wrote to the paper yesterday about it. I told the editor to tell that person I didn’t read their flyer because they didn’t sign it. And I signed my letter with my real name. I don’t even know if the flyer was accurate, scriptural or fair. It may well have been. But without a signature or an endorsement, all the sum of this persons views really amounted to is propaganda. If there’s anything I don’t ever want my Christian witness to become, it’s faceless, nameless propaganda.
Everyone who comes to the Tribe learns about the Perfect. The Perfect is the training, the race, and the prize. The Perfect is the sign, the significance and the evidence. The Perfect is the heart’s desire and the proof that the desire has been fulfilled. Everyone wants the Perfect, because when you have it, you clearly have God close to you; inside and all around you. But I had the fear, and I had God too, so now I’m beginning to wonder why I tried so hard to have the Perfect. Perhaps, the Perfect is not from God after all. Perhaps the Perfect is something we made up. Whatever it is, I’m pretty sure I don’t want it.
I have to leave my Tribe. I don’t want to do it, but I believe now that I have no choice. These are the people I’ve always want to be with, the ones with whom I have been spiritually and philosophically aligned for as long as I can remember. I left my own family, my own blood, to be with these people, and now, I have to go away.