Are you tired? You seem tired. I’m not surprised. It’s hard, this thing you’re doing. It seems hard. I wonder why God would ask you to do something so hard. I wonder if this thing you’re trying so hard to do is really worth it, even possible.
I’m sure it seemed easy enough at the start, maybe even on paper. I can tell you, you’re not making it look easy. You’re making it look clunky and awkward. Don’t you want to stop already?
I really wish you would stop already.
It’s so heavy, isn’t it? Such a burden, such hard work. If you find this burden is heavy and making you weary, if you burn up so much energy defending your reasons for carrying it, and your arms hurt from constantly shifting it around to look at it from different angles, then can I give you some advice for free? This probably isn’t a burden of love you’re carrying around.
Check again. You say it’s love. You call it love. Who’s love? Gods love, I guess. You do seem to give Him a lot of credit for it. But can I suggest maybe it’s so heavy because it isn’t love you’re carrying? Could it really be fear, maybe even hate you’ve got in your arms? Could it be all the bits and scraps of a teaching you deeply suspect doesn’t even fit you any more just all bundled up in a big, tight ball? I mean, where do you even start any more? It’s hard trying to remember who you’re supposed to love and accept and who you’re not, isn’t it? Wouldn’t you like to use your brain, your heart, your arms and hands and back for other things, other than carrying around that big dead weight of judgement, exclusion and absolutes?
I wonder who you’d see standing before you if you simply set down and walked away from that big bundle of rags? I wonder how your perspective would change, if you weren’t carrying that load of stinking garbage right under your nose all the time?
Wouldn’t you just love to breathe the fresh air? To take away what keeps you from really seeing and knowing and getting up close to people? Is this burden really worth it? Is it?
Aren’t you tired?
Could it possibly be your arms are ready to let go of the weight, and instead take up things which energise you, set you and others free, and lead you in straight paths rather than around in circles? Is it possible you’ve exhausted enough energy fighting paradoxes and ignoring commonsense? Could it be you’ve at last argued the point to it’s fullest end, and have finally discovered that huge bundle of rags has no beginning to it, and no end?
That your holding on is simply holding you back from running headlong into the greatness of God’s extravagant grace?
Do you remember? You know, back when you didn’t need to think about all this stuff? When you didn’t even know all the reasons why you have to say or think those things about people? When heaven was for everyone? Wouldn’t you rather have the faith you had as a child; when it didn’t matter what colour we were, and we all held hands with anyone as long as we got to dance and sing, and girls and boys all laughed and cried the same, loved the same, and were loved the same? When nobody was allowed to be mean to others, and we all learned to share?
God, I know I do.
My brother, my sister, lay your burden down. It’s not a burden of love if it hurts you and blinds you so. You’re so, so tired. I can see it, and you know it. It’s so simple. Just. Let. Go.