How has your day been?
Well, mine’s been horrible. I blame hormones. And people. Not all people. Just the ones who are p____g me off right now. They don’t know, or care, that they’re doing this. That’s no excuse. Hormones. Now that’s an excuse.
I had to say sorry to my husband today. I said sorry a few times, actually. There must be a medal in that, I think. The first time I said it, it was like, “Sorry?” I didn’t hear what he said, because I was distracted doing something IMPORTANT. I told him that, but he didn’t believe me, and he then used some words arranged in such a way as to let me know he doubted my sincerity. So I said sorry again, in two long syllables, like, “Sorrr – REE.” He accepted graciously. Down the stairs he went, graciously accepting my apology the whole time under his breath. So I said it again, “SORRY???????” I really did want to know what he was muttering. I never like hitting a man in the head with a plate for something he didn’t actually say. I think it’s important to articulate oneself properly.
He was articulated properly not long after that, at volume, with swearing, by me. He articulated properly in response that I WAS NOT BEING VERY NICE. What he actually said was, “NICE.” But we’ve been married a long time – I knew what he meant. So then I spoke clearly and succinctly back so he would be in no doubt that I wanted to articulate properly for his benefit the fact THEY DON’T GIVE OUT MEDALS FOR NICE. I probably shouldn’t have said that, not because it isn’t true, but because now Ben thinks I only do things to get medals, which actually isn’t true. He wanted to know which of the things I do are for medals, and which are not, and I responded with another sorry – with some other words lovingly placed around it just like flowers in a garden – words like “I’m going to”, “slap” and “your” – and then I cleverly turned “sorry” from an adjective to an attributive adjective, by placing “face” directly after it.
I love the English language. It’s so playful.
In other news, my hormones are baying like dogs for the moon. Did I already mention that? Also, I thought it was Friday today. I hoped it was because then I could be excused for feeding my family vegetarian hotdogs for dinner, which I now can’t, because it isn’t. It is, however, dinnertime now, so I have to go.
We made up, by the way, with real sorry’s this time.
Love, Jo xxxby