Your healing is not a one-time event. It’s a life-long journey.
Some days you won’t notice your healing as it happens. Your waters will be calm and your rhythm will be even. These days, you’ll wonder if you were ever really hurt to begin with.
Other days, your healing will be rocking your boat and breaking your anchor ropes. You’ll feel like you never began getting better, that you’ve been sabotaged, set back and maybe even sunk under the waves, doomed forever.
But don’t buy into that.
You are healing. You’re growing every day. You’re becoming stronger and wiser, loving yourself more and coming closer to forgiveness. It’s happening, dear heart. Have faith.
When they said healing you would be a one-time event, that wasn’t true. That reflected their attention span, their willingness to be available for you, and not your reality. They laid their hands on you, said their prayers, invoked their god. You remember every word they said to you, scratching at those crumbs as they fell to the ground, licking your palms to take every bit inside you. But they walked on down the line, onto the next one, and the next, and promptly forgot you ever even existed, didn’t they? Leave those part-time amateurs. Forget those preachers of a false gospel. What they lack, you have in spades. Patience. Faith, Respect. Determination. Integrity. When it comes to becoming well and whole again, love can do a thorough job, so you never need walk this path again.
Love takes time, and only love can heal you properly, in all those deep, deep places. You need commitment – most of all, from yourself. Buy into your healing for the long run. You, darling, are worth it. Gather allies who love and appreciate you, the real you, not those practitioners who are in love with their own talent and results, who have no patience to wait for the marrow-deep, the real, lasting repair. They’ll push off as soon as they see you can’t build their reputation, and to them, you’ll always be a project, a success story, a testimony to their success.
Be a testimony to your own success. Buy in for a long-haul healing. Darling, you are so worth it.
For my dear friend, thank you for sharing your heart with me today. So proud to know you.
Love, Jo xxxxby