Thank God It’s Thursday.

How has your day been?

Well, mine’s been horrible. I blame hormones. And people. Not all people. Just the ones who are p____g me off right now. They don’t know, or care, that they’re doing this. That’s no excuse. Hormones. Now that’s an excuse.Sorry card with floral vignette and bird

I had to say sorry to my husband today. I said sorry a few times, actually. There must be a medal in that, I think. The first time I said it, it was like, “Sorry?” I didn’t hear what he said, because I was distracted doing something IMPORTANT. I told him that, but he didn’t believe me, and he then used some words arranged in such a way as to let me know he doubted my sincerity. So I said sorry again, in two long syllables, like, “Sorrr – REE.” He accepted graciously. Down the stairs he went, graciously accepting my apology the whole time under his breath. So I said it again, “SORRY???????” I really did want to know what he was muttering. I never like hitting a man in the head with a plate for something he didn’t actually say. I think it’s important to articulate oneself properly.

He was articulated properly not long after that, at volume, with swearing, by me. He articulated properly in response that I WAS NOT BEING VERY NICE. What he actually said was, “NICE.” But we’ve been married a long time – I knew what he meant. So then I spoke clearly and succinctly back so he would be in no doubt that I wanted to articulate properly for his benefit the fact THEY DON’T GIVE OUT MEDALS FOR NICE. I probably shouldn’t have said that, not because it isn’t true, but because now Ben thinks I only do things to get medals, which actually isn’t true. He wanted to know which of the things I do are for medals, and which are not, and I responded with another sorry – with some other words lovingly placed around it just like flowers in a garden – words like “I’m going to”, “slap” and “your” – and then I cleverly turned “sorry” from an adjective to an attributive adjective, by placing “face” directly after it.

I love the English language. It’s so playful.

In other news, my hormones are baying like dogs for the moon. Did I already mention that? Also, I thought it was Friday today. I hoped it was because then I could be excused for feeding my family vegetarian hotdogs for dinner, which I now can’t, because it isn’t. It is, however, dinnertime now, so I have to go.

We made up, by the way, with real sorry’s this time.

Love, Jo xxx

One thought on “Thank God It’s Thursday.

  1. Oh hormones! They are the cause of many, many arguments, I think. But heaven forbid a man point that out. It drives me crazy when my husband says, “It’s okay, you’re hormonal right now.” (Even if he is right)

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