Things Not To Say To Someone Who Has Cancer – The Book :)

Dear loyal friends and readers,

Those of you who know me have heard me banging on about ‘the cancer book’ for years now. In fact, while I’ve been boring you to tears talking about them I’ve actually written two cancer books, and I’m about to publish the first one. Well, it’s actually the second one. I wrote the other one – the one I’m not about to publish – first. That one is my cancer story – a memoir of when I had stage 3B Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma in 2003 and six months of treatment. The second book I’ve written is the prequel to that one, called Things Not To Say To Someone Who Has Cancer, and I’m just about ready to make it available for sale.

I hoped to have it out as an e-book on Amazon for Kindle and also as a paper book on CreateSpace before the middle of August, but I need another couple of weeks. I’ll be ready to make an announcement within the next few days.

I wish I had a publisher and editor to push this process along, but there’s just me, my MacBook, my real job and my family who just will not stop wanting me to cook dinner and clean things. Like all self-published writers, I’m my own marketing manager and advertising agency, as well as literary agent. The pay is crap. If you want to sure yourself from control-freak tendencies, be a self-published writer. Ordering yourself around gets pretty old pretty fast.

Anyway, about the book!

More about Things Not To Say To Someone Who Has Cancer.

My awesome blurb I wrote myself 🙂

“You’ve just received the worst possible news – someone you love is diagnosed with cancer. Before you have a chance to do anything, you’ll need to say something. The usual clichés spring to mind, but surely there’s something better to say than “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”? Just what do you say to someone who has cancer?

“Author Jo Hilder draws on her experience as a cancer survivor, advocate and support group facilitator to introduce new ways to talk about cancer, and to the people we love who are diagnosed with it. With warmth and humor, Jo gently eases family, friends and supporters into those inevitable interactions faced after a cancer diagnosis, exploring the most common practical, social and emotional challenges. Identifying, addressing and dispelling the common cancer clichés, Things Not To Say To Someone Who Has Cancer introduces simple and comfortable methods for turning awkward interactions into open conversations about cancer. Sharing from her own journey as a cancer patient and wide experience delivering cancer support programs, Jo helps readers understand the reality of cancer and treatment, contrasting this with common stereotypes and cancer myths. Things Not To Say To Someone Who Has Cancer is a practical guide for the uninitiated, providing information and support for anyone who finds themselves bewildered and afraid in the face of a cancer diagnosis.”

Some reviews I’ve received for Things Not To Say To Someone Who Has Cancer: A Beginners Guide – 

“If it were an ideology, it would be terrorism. Cancer catches us unawares, unprepared, without mercy or prejudice, forever altering the lives it touches. Jo Hilder has tackled a very difficult subject in Things Not To Say To Someone Who Has Cancer – the very essence of our first contact with cancer. In acknowledging those first emotions and reactions and naming our fears, she sensitively constructs a platform for what is inevitably a long arduous journey for all involved. Having been through that experience personally, I feel Things Not To Say To Someone With Cancer is a great place for anyone to start.” Brad Fitzpatrick, husband of Christine who passed away from breast cancer, 1997.

“In Things Not to Say to Someone Who Has Cancer, Jo Hilder provides a friendly, well-written guide for things to say instead of the usual clichés. Things Not To Say is a great book for cancer patients, cancer survivors, carers, friends, colleagues, neighbors and health professionals.” Carol Rhodes, cancer survivor and program facilitator, Living Well After Cancer.


“This book is for anyone who has heard themselves say to a person with cancer ‘Let me know if there is anything I can do for you’ or ‘Just be strong’, and that’s probably all of us. Beyond the expected list of do’s and don’ts for supporting someone with cancer, Jo offers a way to open up conversations, leading us to a deeper and more authentic way of relating around a cancer diagnosis. Jo suggests there is a better way to face cancer with our loved ones.” Carolyn Grenville, cancer advocate.

“Jo tackles a tough issue with compassion, humor and sensitivity, challenging existing approaches to talking about cancer by shining a light on a new way to communicate around a cancer diagnosis. Things Not To Say also acknowledges the good intentions underpinning those things we know we shouldn’t say to someone with cancer, but seem to stumble into anyway.  This warm and thoughtful book is much more than a guide of what not to do, and contains much food for thought on new ways to address the issue of cancer and its impact on the ones we love.” Kelly Williams (policy and advocacy officer for leading cancer charity)

“Positive and wise, this book goes well beyond what’s promised. Things Not To Say To Someone Who Has Cancer doesn’t just tell us what not to say, but leads us along a path to a far more positive and comprehensive way of approaching loved ones with cancer. Far from just being a list, Things Not To Say encourages us to leap forward into a better way, and to trust ourselves to relax into a more natural way of being with someone who has cancer.” Carrie Green, cancer carer

“This book will guide you through the minefield of thoughts and feelings you may have when face to face with the dilemma of how to be a real help to someone who has cancer. You will be able to learn not only about what they may be facing, but
how you, as a person, can be a support, whether you are action or feeling oriented by nature. In the storm of what the sufferer is going through, they will need people who have done their homework, and are past the ‘what shall I do’ phase of reaction. This book will help you to be that person. Written bodily but with understanding, this book will guide you through not only what to do and say, but also what NOT to do and say, and help you to avoid those foot-in-mouth ‘I can’t believe I just said that’ moments. Whether you are a carer, family member, friend or partner, there are helpful lessons all through this book.” Greg Carrick, Youth Homelessness Support Worker

More info on the release date ASAP 🙂

PS – Did I mention it’ll be under five bucks? Woohoo!


You've heard my thoughts, now throw me yours...